Today we are going to have some fun with letters of the alphabet (move over Sesame Street) as a means of understanding the difference between goal setting and goal getting.
Just to be different, we will pick the letter “D” and start with that. The anally retentive amongst us will hyperventilate and blanch, but hey, you only live once, so let’s get edgy.
The D words are design, desire, default, doubt, determinant, due diligence and detachment
The concept I am going to throw out there is to live your life by design rather than by default.
When I design my life, I am stating to the Universe and all who dwell in it that I do not and will not accept an existence by default.
In other words rather than allowing circumstances to influence and impact my future, I am self –directed and definitely self-determinant.
This means that sometimes we go against the trend or the common herd instinct (I can picture in my mind a posse of lemmings marching over the edge of a cliff when I write this).
This means being unpopular and defying the general consensus of opinion.
This means rocking the boat.
When we consciously design our lives, we experience within our soul and spirit an awakening, a very strong desire for “something” that gives meaning to our lives. This may be a Catch 22 situation if you argue that an awakening of our soul and spirit is the impetus for consciously designing our lives, but I digress.
This “something” is intangible but irresistible and goes beyond being a passing whim. I interpret a passing whim as a musing, for example “wouldn’t it be nice if I had a another pair of shoes to go with this new sun dress”.
Let’s take for example wanting to improve our lives and those of our loved ones. With our newly found burning desire for a better life we do our due diligence and that includes exploring the various methods of wealth creation (all moral, ethical and legitimate, of course).
Whether we start a business, or enrol in a stock market trading course (yes, there are socially responsible companies out there) or sign up for college to get the qualifications for a promotion, we require of ourselves persistent application of effort. Just thinking about it won’t cut it. This kind of stuff really requires repeated action.
The burning desire fuels the daily application of productive action that is the perfect antidote for occasions when we are faced with doubt.
Doubt can be insidious, and it certainly gives our self-belief a run for its money. The glum times will come, the feeling that you are pushing the proverbial uphill with only the tip of your nose on a rainy day will rear its ugly head.
Pretending that it doesn’t or won’t happen is asking to be blindsided.
How do we prepare for this?
By practising detachment and yes, I can hear a collective groan when I say this.
I know it isn’t the most natural reaction, and certainly not the easiest thing to do. But when we are so attached to the outcome, it falls into the category of the “try hard and needy” type of behaviour.
Remember your high school days where there were the cool kids and then there were the desperate and dateless (said with tongue firmly in cheek).
The strategy is this: You have to assume the persona of one of the cool kids as opposed to the angst ridden try harder types.
Letting go of the outcome is the secret to this exercise. Rather than chase and stalk your goal, allow what you desire to come to you.
This was the conclusion I came to recently when everything I did felt like I was hitting my head against the sharp edge of a brick wall. It felt really good when I stopped and stilled my spirit.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness